Return

Accept me, home;
After the virulent roads of rusty rhythms
From the darkened streets of empty graves
I am returning.
Exorcise from me, the infected breath of white deaths!
And fill in me again
The sparkling air of your villages,

I have heard and seen the prodigal sons returning
as refugees to the bosoms of squandered pasts.
From their rabid cities of hollow frenzy they could sense,
The meteors have disappeared from their skies and
Village fields have blossomed again

Ghosts from the present keep telling about
The stolen kisses that never happen;
Hands which I am destined to miss;
The pain at waiting for never returning messages;
Now I hope awaiting arms of embrace
So gentle but passionate, in my home of forgotten pasts!

Purify my tears about lost love
And lost half baked words
Send me back, the rains of reasonless joys
The moments of childish smiles

On despair song!!

Last poem of mine (look I still sneer at myself to call that a poem!) was supposed to be a poem of despair . Well pre decided about the intention, however(use of but is not assertive!!) I hoped and prayed to the unknown source to let the words come through me.
Nothing happened. It was done in phase of two days. It didn’t carry any meaning either, just a reflection on my changing moods. Besiline , friend of mine had asked me to include his sign on the words of despair as he also wanted to tell some thing. But well I couldn’t do any justice to him nor my intentions. The mood of despair changed to a feel of comic, meaningless and wobbly. Then I realized one basic thing in my life , all I need is simple things in my life. A word of gentleness , a simple bye for assuring I was there with them, a tender look to acknowledge you don’t hate me!
Well here ends my soliloquy, to end with, let me say one thing. My last poem may be a bad work of slackness. But because your children are crippled or blind, will they feel less important to you? ( Words of A Ayyappan , my icon as a poet in initial days. Now no more I read him). I am jotting them down , word by word, sense or senseless, each imprints of my life onto the cyber strings to remind me further down the lane who I was .

A Song of despair

Heavens know my truth;
My actions before every word;
Never mind those capricious hunks of lies;
I want to write this song of despair.

Dreams are worth these dead ends;
Indeed
After the praise of flanking beauty,
And the endless sugary hymns
A wail at the walls is what it expected.

Still, words are there in air
Waiting for me to pluck them.
The inebriated words, it can seem;
But I promise you, they are still from my heart.

But tell me, the unknown omnipotent
Source of all my words
What am I going to write down?
I feel only the dark numbness.
My keyboard pulsing each moment
Waiting for my nod of finger
To go on at an ease of slash.

I wail at me without knowing what to cry for.
I dance at the never stopping rhythms
A lament carved out of meaningless steps.
Don’t say they are out of my boozed shaky legs.

But with a single bid of bye ( although careless)
You oozed out of me
the last tempt to do the words of despair.
Now, the even the infinite source is chuckling.

After all who wants to hear a song of despair
If not for others whom I am going to sing!!

I still have your handwritten signs
I can wrap myself around your twirling letters
I can imagine you words on laptop to be the words of love
In this cyber world ,icons do carry many things!!

Further on my change!

Once I wrote only about my nightmares
Why did I forget to mention all the sweet dreams?
My words filled with the anguish
Of a crippled leper, who denied all the alms
And shouted all at the empty streets.

In those days
Fragmented statements and bad prose
Invited the editors to revise them.
My words slept eternally in the ignominy of bins.

My friend opened the basket of guavas,
He searched for the scent of lost lusts.

‘Love conquers everything’
I found that scent back on the time warped web.